remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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