I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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