Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
