Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
