think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
