I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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