another moral hangover. fuck.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
