There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
