where am i from again
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
