It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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