yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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