What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
