Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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