I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm at about main and main street
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
