that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
