Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
