I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
