drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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