hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
