My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
