I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
