ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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