we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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