Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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