I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
