SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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