Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
