I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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