You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
