i barfeds in our rink
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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