oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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