windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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