I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
