we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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