i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
