So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
