Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
