i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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