Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
