the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
