Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
