i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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