Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
