grandma shit on top of the toilet
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
