We won't sleep together?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
