Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
