where am i from again
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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