sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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