You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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