In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
